Laid-Off

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Getting fired because the company is broke and your boss thinks you're a waste of oxygen.

My boss said I was 'a waste of oxygen' and I got laid off the same day I brought coffee to the office.

I got laid off because my boss said I didn't 'deserve the air I breathe.'

I was laid off because my boss said I was 'a walking expense.'

Being canned because the company is broke and can't afford to keep you.

I got laid off because the company said I was 'too expensive for their budget.'

My boss told me I was 'too much for the company's pockets.'

I was laid off because my boss said I was 'too costly for their broke brains.'

Getting fired from a job that was so bad you were glad to leave it.

I got laid off from a job where I had to wear clown pants every day.

My boss said I was 'glad to be gone' because the job was so terrible.

I was fired from a job that was so stupid, I cried for a week.

When a guy tries to flirt with a girl, but she dumps him when she sees his penis.

He asked her out, but she said no when she saw his penis.

He tried to hit on her, but she ran away when she saw his penis.

He came on to her, but she said, 'No way, I can't date you.'

Getting laid off is like getting laid, but you're not getting any fun or love, it's just a punishment.

Getting laid off is like being sexually assaulted by your boss.

Laid off is when your boss gives you the worst possible punishment.

Getting laid off is like being forced to have sex with a broken pencil.