lagrose

Fresh

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a fart so quiet it only stinks up the dog park and your grandma’s hearing aid

My dog ran to the other side of the park when I let one rip.

My grandma asked if I had a hearing aid on.

The dog sniffed me and ran away like I had a fart bomb.

a fart so weak it can’t even bother your brother’s goldfish

My brother’s goldfish swam in circles when I let one out.

I farted and the goldfish looked confused.

The goldfish stared at me like I was a weirdo.

a fart so soft it only wakes up your dog and your mom’s phone

My dog started barking at my mom’s phone when I farted.

My mom’s phone rang and my dog ran to it.

I farted and my dog ran to my mom’s phone like it was a fart alarm.