LaGrasso

My boss is LaGrasso. He thinks he owns the coffee machine.

LaGrasso gave me a raise... then took it back because he heard me laugh.

I asked for a day off. LaGrasso said, 'You're not getting it. You're lucky to be alive.'

LaGrasso yelled at the printer. The printer quit.

I walked into the office. LaGrasso looked at me like I had stolen his lunch.

He said, 'If you mess this up, I'll fire you and your dog.'

LaGrasso said I was 'a waste of oxygen.' I took it as a compliment.

He called me a 'doofus' in front of the whole team. I cried.

I made a mistake. LaGrasso said, 'You're not even worth my time.'

LaGrasso screamed, 'I will not be ignored!' The plants in the office flinched.

He said, 'You're not even trying!' I was trying. I was trying very hard.

He yelled so loud, I think the ceiling cracked.

I blinked. LaGrasso said I was 'a disgrace.'

He told me I was 'a walking mistake.' I told him I was 'a walking insult.'

He said I was 'not even close to good.' I said, 'You're not even close to sane.'

LaGrasso said, 'You're only as good as your coffee.' I spilled mine.

He gave me a raise... then took it back because I didn't bring donuts.

He said, 'If you don't bring me coffee, you're not even working.'