Lager and lime

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1
A cocky cockney way to say time. People use it when they're bragging about how soon they're gonna show up at the bar, even if they're still wearing pajamas.
'Lager and lime, I'll be there in five minutes, mate.' (He showed up two hours later.)
'Lager and lime, I'll be there before the bar even opens.' (He turned up after the bar closed.)
'Lager and lime, I'll be there by the time the drinks are ready.' (He showed up just as the bar was about to shut down.)
2
A cockney slang for time. Used when you're trying to sound cool but you’re actually late and don’t care.
'Lager and lime, I'll be there by the time the beer finishes.' (He arrived after the beer was gone.)
'Lager and lime, I'll be there by the time the bar gets cleaned.' (He showed up just as the bar was being cleaned.)
'Lager and lime, I'll be there by the time the bar gets drunk.' (He turned up after everyone had already drank themselves silly.)
3
A cockney way to say time. People use it when they're pretending they're punctual even though they're clearly not.
'Lager and lime, I'll be there by the time the bar opens.' (He arrived just as the bar was closing.)
'Lager and lime, I'll be there by the time the drinks are poured.' (He showed up after the bar had run out of drinks.)
'Lager and lime, I'll be there by the time the bar gets full.' (He arrived just as the bar was about to kick people out.)
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