lagakky

My buddy tried to explain how to play chess and he said, 'I just throw pieces at the board and hope for the best.'

She thought a toaster was a magic wand. I don’t know what’s worse: her or the toaster.

He asked me if a pizza was a fruit. I said, 'No, it’s a crime.'

He tried to text me and typed 'I’m coming 2 u 2mrow', and I had to translate that like it was hieroglyphs.

She told me her dog could speak Spanish and I said, 'Then why don’t you ask it for directions?'

He thought the sun was a giant flashlight. I told him, 'Yeah, and it’s stuck on high.'