LAFM

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A tiny Asian woman who never stops wanting to have sex. She’s like a robot made of cum and noodles.

My cousin's LAFM. She texts me at 2 a. m. asking if I want to ‘do it’ again.

My boss’s LAFM. She’s always sneaking snacks during meetings. And also sneaking sex.

My LAFM got me fired. She texted me during lunch. ‘I need you now. Immediately.’

A phrase that means a guy is staring at Facebook Marketplace like it’s the last piece of pizza on Earth.

My friend LAFM’d at 3 a. m. and bought a toaster. He’s now eating burnt bread for breakfast.

I LAFM’d and bought a bike. Now I’m biking to work. And also biking to the store. And also to my neighbor’s house.

My mom LAFM’d and bought a microwave. Now she’s microwaving everything. Even my brain.