Ladysplain

'You think you’re the first person who’s ever used a phone? I was on Instagram before you had a job.'

'He tried to explain how to fold a napkin like it was a math problem. I just said, 'You’re 20. You’ve had napkins since you were a kid.'

'He started talking about how he fixed my computer. I said, 'You broke it. You don’t fix it. You make it worse.'

'You said the sky is blue. I said, 'It’s actually more like a very angry turquoise on a bad day.'

'He told me the moon was made of cheese. I told him he was a cheesehead and that was a compliment.'

'He thought the internet was invented in 2010. I told him he was born in the wrong century.'

'He tried to explain how to use a microwave. I said, 'You use it every day. Why are you still confused?'

'He said I spelled 'Tuesday' wrong. I said, 'You spelled 'Tuesday' wrong. You spelled your own name wrong.'

'He tried to explain how to tie a shoelace. I said, 'You’re 30. You wear shoes. You should know how to tie a shoelace.'

'He said he knew everything about space. I said, 'You know the moon is made of cheese. That’s not even close.'

'He tried to explain how to use a smartphone. I said, 'You use it every day. You’re a genius. Why are you still confused?'

'He said he knew more about movies than me. I said, 'You’ve only watched the same movie five times. I’ve watched it 10 times and I still like it more.'

'He said he was the best at everything. I said, 'You’re the best at being wrong.'

'He tried to explain how to make a sandwich. I said, 'You can’t even make a basic sandwich. You’re a disaster.'

'He said he knew everything about music. I said, 'You only know the same song. You’re a walking jukebox with a broken CD player.'