Lady of the Café

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A cheap woman who only wants free food and calls you a loser when you catch her eating your meal.

'I didn't ask you to pay for my entire life.'

'You’re just a broke guy who thinks he’s a king.'

'I’m not a prostitute, I’m a restaurant’s best friend.'

A woman who flirts with every guy in the café and expects you to buy her coffee like it’s your job.

'I didn’t say I wanted a latte, I just said I wanted a guy who knows how to order one.'

'You’re not the first guy I’ve dated, but you’re the first one who didn’t bring me dessert.'

'If you don’t tip me, I’ll tell your mom.'

A woman who acts like she’s too good for you but still takes your money for breakfast.

'I’m not with you, I’m just with the free pancakes.'

'You’re the kind of guy who thinks a date is just a coupon.'

'I don’t need a man, I need a discount.'

A woman who dates guys just to get free meals and then dumps them when the bill comes.

'You’re not my boyfriend, you’re my lunch buddy.'

'I only love you on Mondays, and only if you pay for brunch.'

'You’re not a bad guy, you’re just a bad tipper.'

A woman who lies about being in love just so she can get a free meal and a free drink.

'I love you, but I also love my salad.'

'If you don’t buy me a drink, I’ll break up with you.'

'We’re not dating, we’re just roommates with benefits and a food budget.'

A woman who acts like she’s royalty just because she gets free food from you.

'I’m not a peasant, I’m a princess of the café.'

'You’re not my servant, you’re just my meal provider.'

'If you don’t give me a dessert, I’ll start a war.'