Lady Lifting

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When you pay a woman to give you a hard time and then you hope she forgets your name.

I paid her $20 and she still called me 'honey' the whole time.

He said he'd do anything for a good time. She said 'anything' meant paying for her coffee.

She told me my name was 'Bob' for the rest of the night. I didn't even know my real name anymore.

Trying to get a woman to do your chores for money and then realizing she just wanted your attention.

I told her I’d pay her to clean my room. She cleaned it and then asked me out.

He paid her to do his laundry. She did it and then took his clothes to the mall.

She said she'd do my dishes for $10. She did them and then asked if I had any more money.

When you buy a woman a drink and then you get charged for the whole bar.

I asked her to come with me. She said 'sure' and then the bill was $50.

He bought her a soda. She said 'I'll have the same.' The bill was $25.

I said 'one drink' and then I got charged for the whole table.

Hiring a woman to be your friend and then pretending you didn't know her in public.

She was my best friend. Then I hired her. Now I act like I don't know her.

He paid her to be his friend. Now he says 'we're strangers' in the grocery store.

I paid her to be my pal. Now I pretend we haven't met before.

When you give a woman cash and then you expect her to be your girlfriend for free.

I gave her $20. She said 'we're dating now.' I said 'no we're not.'

He paid her $10 and then asked her to be his girlfriend for the rest of the week.

I gave her $5. She said 'that's a down payment on a relationship.' I said 'I didn't sign anything.'

When you pay a woman to be pretty and then you forget she's not your mom.

I paid her to be my girlfriend. She was pretty. I forgot she wasn't my mom.

He said she was the best girlfriend ever. Then he realized she wasn't his mom.

She was my dream girl. I forgot she wasn't my mother.