Lady Leather

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A gross old Norwegian witch with leather skin who eats the souls of almost-grown kids. She burns their eyes out and steals their vibes and dreams.

My math teacher said Lady Leather took my ability to do fractions.

I saw Lady Leather in the park. She had a kid screaming in her mouth.

My brother said Lady Leather took his will to live and now he just plays video games all day.

A woman who’s been baking in the sun so long her skin looks like a gym bag. No shade, just burn marks and bad life choices.

My aunt’s skin looks like a leather couch. She’s Lady Leather.

My mom says she’s gonna become Lady Leather if she doesn’t stop tanning.

My cousin’s skin is like a taco shell. She’s gonna be Lady Leather soon.