Lady Doritos

She came home reeking like a bag of cool ranch that sat in the sun all day.

He texted me: 'She smells like a chip factory exploded in her pants.'

At the dinner table, my dad asked, 'Is that your lady or the trash can?'

She walked in and my dog ran out screaming, 'I don’t want to be a side dish!'

He DM’d me: 'She’s like a bag of chips that’s been in the dirt for a week.'

At the mall, a kid ran into her and said, 'You’re like a chip that’s been chewed by a dog.'

She walked into the classroom and the whole class dropped their snacks.

My brother said, 'She’s like a chip bag that’s been kissed by a raccoon.'

At the gym, the guy next to me said, 'She smells like a cool ranch that’s been in a sock for a year.'