lady cork

"I’m not going to the party without my lady cork," she said, like she was saving the world.

He asked her what she was putting in her pants, and she said, "a lady cork, duh," and walked away.

She texted him, "You’re not my type, you’re too messy for my lady cork."

She said, "I put in my lady cork and felt like I was on vacation," and then she fell asleep on the couch.

He asked her why she was so calm, and she said, "I’ve got my lady cork on," like it was a superpower.

She posted on Instagram, "Lady cork: the only thing that can save me from a long day of sitting."