Lady bagel

She showed up at the gym with a bagel and a protein bar and yelled at the treadmill.

At the coffee shop, she ordered three bagels and a latte and called the barista a ‘snack thief’.

She texted me at 2 a. m. saying she was ‘bagel-fueled’ and ‘ready to conquer the world’.

He walked into the store with a ham wallet and a bagel, and the cashier asked if he was a bagel or a wallet.

He spent $50 on bagels and called it a ‘financial investment’.

He texted me saying he had ‘ham wallet vibes’ and was ‘about to eat a bagel like it owed him money’.