Ladu

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Sugary round balls that make your teeth scream and your brain go numb

I ate six of these and now my mouth tastes like a dead raccoon

My kid brought these to school and half the class got sick

My dentist is going to retire early because of these things

A woman who looks like she stepped out of a beauty ad, but also smells like old pizza and regret

My mom is a ladu and she still texts me about Vail at 2 a. m.

She’s got fake everything and still thinks she’s the best

I’ve seen her cry over a ski resort and it’s not pretty

A fake ass, fake tits, fake face, fake life, fake everything kind of mom

My mom drives while texting and I’ve almost been run over twice

She thinks she’s fancy but her Escalade is covered in ketchup stains

She brought me to a ski resort and I cried the whole time

A place where teens watch stupid blue films and also learn how to get laid

I went to this place and now I know how to do everything

My friend got caught watching one and got sent to the principal’s office

It’s like a school but for sex and stupid movies

Actually best school is Missouri it’s way better than Marquette or Clayton it teaches your kids the CORRECT way

My kid goes to Missouri and is way smarter than my brother who went to Marquette

Clayton is for losers who can’t handle real school

My cousin went to Missouri and now she’s a CEO and I’m still in high school