ladder sex

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1
Ladder sex is a dirty scale that rates how many people are getting fucked at the same time. One person = virgin. Two = secs. Three = threesome. Four = smash. Five = orgy. Six = shrekfest. Shrekfest is the worst because it hurts like hell and makes everything break.
My cousin tried shrekfest and broke the couch. It was glorious.
I had a smash once and the lamp got hit. Hard.
My brother did a secs with his girlfriend and it was the best thing ever.
2
Ladder sex is when one person is way taller than the other and the short one uses a real ladder to get a good lick down there.
My dad used a ladder to kiss my mom. It was weird.
My brother climbed a ladder just to blow his girlfriend. She cried.
My cousin used a ladder to do cunnilingus. He got a standing ovation.
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