Ladder Immigrant

Once I got my green card, I went full Trump on the border. 'No more immigrants!' I screamed, like I was the president.

After I got my job, I forgot about the people still waiting in line. 'Let them stay in the desert!' I yelled, like I had a degree in cruelty.

I got my house, and now I'm trying to make sure no one else gets it. 'I don't want to share my pizza!' I whined, like I was five.

I got my visa, and now I'm trying to make sure the next guy gets stuck in a crowded boat. 'Let them drown!' I said, like I had a grudge against the ocean.

Once I got my apartment, I started talking trash about the people still waiting. 'They're all losers!' I said, like I was the king of the block.

I got my job, and now I'm trying to make sure no one else can get it. 'I don't want to share my coffee!' I whined, like I was the only person who ever existed.

I got my citizenship, and now I'm telling everyone else what to do. 'You don't know anything!' I said, like I had a PhD in being smug.

Once I got my house, I started acting like I was the richest person in the world. 'You can't have my car!' I yelled, like I had a Lamborghini in my garage.

I got my job, and now I think I'm the best person ever. 'You're all failures!' I said, like I had a trophy for being annoying.