lactozian

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A person so obsessed with milk they’d drink it straight from the cow’s ass if it meant more cheese.

I saw him eat a whole gallon of milk for breakfast. I asked why. He said, 'It’s lactozian law.'

She tried to make him stop eating yogurt at 3 a. m. He said, 'This is my sacred ritual.'

He told his mom he’d rather die than give up his daily milkshake.

A milk fiend who would fight you for the last drop of chocolate milk.

He broke up with his girlfriend because she drank the last of his milk. 'I don’t love you anymore.'

At the grocery store, he tackled a guy for the last carton of whole milk.

He once cried when the ice cream truck ran out of vanilla.

Someone who lives for milk so much they think it’s a religion.

He prays to the milk gods every morning before he drinks his first cup.

He brought a milk offering to his boss’s office. 'For prosperity and more cheese.'

He even has a tattoo of a cow on his arm. 'This is my holy symbol.'

A person who would punch you in the face if you said anything bad about milk.

He punched his friend for calling milk 'just a liquid.' 'It’s a lifestyle!'

He threw a milk carton at a guy who said, 'I hate milk.'

He once yelled at a barista for giving him 2% instead of whole.

A milk lover who would rather die than give up their daily milk ritual.

He died because he drank the last of his milk and then passed out.

He skipped work just to get more milk. 'I can’t live without it.'

He even had a dream about milk before he died.