LaCortney

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A chocolate-covered hot mess who probably burns things and is way too confident for her own good

I tried to make brownies and set my kitchen on fire. LaCortney laughed and said it was a 'flavor explosion.'

She told me she could solve world hunger with a bag of M&Ms and a curse.

LaCortney said she was a fire sign, but I think she just likes burning stuff on purpose.

A human candy bar who talks too much and thinks she's a goddess just because she likes chocolate

LaCortney said she was a goddess. I said she was just a human with a sweet tooth and a mouth that never shuts up.

She told me she could turn anyone into a chocolate lover with a single glance. I turned into a chocolate lover and then got a headache.

She said she was a goddess, and I said, 'You're just a hot mess with a title.'

A chocolate lover who probably has a temper and thinks she's cool just because she eats candy

LaCortney got mad because I called her a chocolate lover. Then she ate a whole box of chocolates and said I was wrong.

She said she was cool, but I think she just likes to eat candy and pretend she's a rockstar.

LaCortney told me she was cool. I said she was just a chocolate-eating hot mess who needed a reality check.