Lack of Being Existent

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2 views · Added 9d ago · 5 definitions

1
When you’re so non-existent, even ghosts laugh at you.
My cousin vanished so fast, he left a hole in the floor.
That kid’s so dead, his ghost got a job at the graveyard.
I tried to text him, and it went to ‘Unknown Number’, which is just a fancy way of saying ‘dead’.
2
Like when you’re so dead, your absence is a holiday.
My neighbor’s so dead, I got a coupon for free silence.
My grandma’s so dead, the undertaker gave her a raise.
He died so hard, the obituary had a typo.
3
When you’re so non-existent, even your ex’s dog forgot about you.
My ex’s dog didn’t recognize me. I was that dead.
I texted my ex, and his dog answered. That’s how dead I am.
My ex’s dog got a new job. I lost my spot in the dog park.
4
You’re so dead, your existence is a rumor.
People say I exist, but no one’s seen me since 2018.
My mom still thinks I’m alive. She’s delusional.
They held a funeral for me. I showed up. It was awkward.
5
You’re so non-existent, even your ghost is on vacation.
My ghost went to the Bahamas. I’m that dead.
I died so hard, my ghost took a week off.
They’re giving me a ‘ghost of the year’ award. I’m that dead.
xs