Lachlan Milton

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A flamingo in a suit who thinks they're the king of the gay parade and everyone else is just there to laugh at them.

Lachlan Milton walked into the bar and immediately asked the bartender if he had a date for the night.

He tried to flirt with my uncle and ended up crying when he said no.

He sent me a message saying, 'I know we're not together, but I still think about you every day.' I replied with a cat meme.

A man who thinks he’s the main character of a rom-com and everyone else is just background noise.

He stood in the middle of the restaurant and started talking to a waiter about his feelings.

He texted me at 3 a. m. to tell me he was having a 'crisis of identity.'

He tried to propose to his best friend and got rejected in front of 20 people.

A human who believes they are a god and everyone else is just here to worship them.

He told me he was going to heaven if I didn’t like him back.

He tried to start a religion called 'The Lachlan Milton Way.'

He posted a video of himself crying in a gym and called it 'The Tears of Destiny.'

A man who thinks he's the best at everything and everyone else is just jealous of him.

He told me he was the best at everything and I was just 'beneath him.'

He tried to sing at a karaoke bar and no one clapped.

He posted a selfie with a crown and said, 'This is my royal title.'

A person who believes they are the only one who matters and everyone else is just there to make them feel special.

He asked me to move to his house so he could 'be close to the only one who matters.'

He sent me a 10-page letter about how I was the only one who understood him.

He texted me during a math test to tell me he was 'thinking about me.'

A man who thinks he’s the most popular person in school and everyone else is just there to cheer for him.

He walked into class and told everyone he was the most popular person in the school.

He asked the teacher to let him do a presentation on his 'life story.'

He tried to get a group of people to follow him around the mall like he was a celebrity.