lachey

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A Miller Lite. It’s named after Nick Lachey, who drinks it like it’s his life’s purpose while pretending to be in love on Newlyweds.

Lachey: *chugs Miller Lite* I'm so in love, I can't even talk.

My ex said she'd drink Miller Lite if I ever came back. I never did.

I only drink Miller Lite now because I think it's what Lachey drinks.

A Miller Lite. It’s like the beer version of a basic guy who thinks he’s cool.

Lachey drinks Miller Lite and thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread.

My dad drinks Miller Lite and thinks he’s like Lachey.

I drink Miller Lite because I don’t know what else to do.

When you get a blow job. It’s like getting free sex from someone who doesn’t know they’re giving it to you.

Lachey got a blow job and didn’t even thank her.

I got a blow job and didn’t even know it was happening.

My dad got a blow job and said it was the best part of his day.

Beautiful, loving, giving. Like someone who thinks they’re perfect but isn’t.

Lachey is beautiful, loving, and giving, but he still thinks he’s the best.

My mom is beautiful, loving, and giving, but she still thinks I’m the worst.

Jessica Simpson is beautiful, loving, and giving, but she still thinks Lachey is the best.

A lucky bastard who gets to bang Jessica Simpson and has a lot of money. He also thinks he’s the best at everything.

Lachey is the lucky bastard who gets to bang Jessica Simpson every day.

My uncle is the lucky bastard who got married to my aunt and still thinks he’s the best.

I’m the lucky bastard who got this job and still think I’m the best.

When you get married and your partner gets all the money. You end up poorer and they laugh at you.

Lachey got married and now he’s poorer than he was before.

My dad got married and now he’s broke.

I got married and now I’m broke and my wife laughs at me.

Husband of ditsy Jessica Simpson. He was in a band, went solo, and now shows off his meat on a show with dumb people.

Lachey is the husband of ditsy Jessica Simpson and shows off his meat on Newlyweds.

My dad is the husband of my mom and shows off his meat at family dinners.

I’m the husband of my girlfriend and show off my meat on Instagram.