labido labotomy

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When your sexual energy gets completely snuffed out because something broke your heart so bad it felt like your soul got a slap from a flamingo.

My ex cheated on me with my best friend. Now I'm asexual and I hate flamingos.

My dog died and I didn't even get a text. I'm now a sexual ghost.

My breakup was so brutal I lost my ability to feel sexy. I'm like a sad noodle.

When your love life gets crushed so hard it's like your brain got hit by a pizza delivery guy.

My ex left me for a guy who can do push-ups. I now live in a cave and only talk to my cat.

My lover dumped me for a barista. I now drink coffee and hate baristas.

My heart was broken so bad I can't even think about sex. My brain is on vacation.

When you get so emotionally wrecked you lose all desire to be sexy, like your body hit a snooze button and never woke up.

My breakup was so bad I now wear pajamas to work and talk to my plants.

My love life died and now I just eat chips and watch Netflix.

I got dumped so hard I can't even feel sexy anymore. I'm like a dead potato.