La Cruede

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The feeling you get when your brain is melting and your stomach is screaming for mercy.

I woke up and my head felt like a blender full of bricks.

My hangover was so bad I tried to call my mom and she hung up on me.

I looked in the mirror and my face looked like a crime scene.

When your body is so broken from partying you could start a war just to get a coffee.

I walked into work like I had been in a car crash and the car was on fire.

I tried to text my friend and my thumbs were too sore to type.

I didn’t even know my own name until I had a full glass of water.

The afterlife of a night out that makes you wish you were dead.

I felt like I had been run over by a bus that was also on fire.

I was so hungover I tried to eat a pizza and it looked like a math problem.

I sat on the couch and didn’t move for three hours because my body was tired of living.

When you wake up and your brain is still partying while your body is screaming for silence.

I opened my eyes and my brain was doing a conga line.

I tried to think and my head started ringing like a bell.

I was so hungover I could’ve taken a nap and still be tired.

The punishment you get for not eating breakfast before you went out and got drunk.

I didn’t eat and now I feel like I was punished by the devil.

I skipped breakfast and now my stomach is making a soundtrack of pain.

I went out without food and now my body is throwing a tantrum.

When you feel like a zombie that got hit by a truck and then asked for more coffee.

I looked in the mirror and my face was like a zombie that got hit by a truck.

I tried to walk and my legs were like noodles.

I had a hangover so bad I tried to take a shower and it felt like a punishment.