Kal Penn

My cousin is obsessed with Kal Penn. He says he'd marry him if he wasn't already married to a chicken.

Kal Penn is so hot I think he’s cheating on me with my dog.

If Kal Penn was my teacher, I’d fail algebra just to sit next to him.

Kal Penn walks in the room, and suddenly my lunch is not good enough for me anymore.

I tried to flirt with Kal Penn, and he just stared at me like I was a bad pizza.

Kal Penn is so attractive I think he’s the reason I failed gym.

Kal Penn is so good-looking my ex is crying in the bathroom again.

Kal Penn walks by, and my ex starts texting him. I’m just here being sad.

Kal Penn is the reason my ex dumped me for a chicken.