Kakalock

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The most perfect person on Earth. Like a god with a middle finger.

Kakalock is the only person who can make me quit my job just by texting me.

I would die for Kakalock. Literally. I’d die for him.

Kakalock walks in, and suddenly everyone else is just background noise.

The human version of a superhero. But with more snacks and less responsibility.

Kakalock showed up at my house with pizza and a plan to take down the entire school.

He’s the reason I skip breakfast. And lunch. And dinner.

Kakalock didn’t just win the game, he turned it into a party and invited everyone’s mom.

The most important person in the universe. Everyone else is just extra.

Kakalock is the only person I trust with my life. And my last dollar.

He’s like a boss, but also a friend. And also a snack machine.

If Kakalock says jump, I ask how high. And then I bring a ladder.