Kajfovat

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To get so stoned you think you're a god and everyone else is trash.

After smoking that blunt, I told my dog he was a disgrace to all dogs.

I ate three tacos and now I'm floating above the ceiling.

My neighbor said I was yelling at a squirrel. I said the squirrel was yelling at me.

To be so happy you want to punch the sky and cry at the same time.

I got a free pizza and I cried happy tears in the street.

My friend gave me a hug and I punched the wall because it felt so good.

I saw a cat wearing a hat and I screamed with joy.

To be so wasted you think the moon is your ex and it's judging you.

I told the moon I was getting a divorce. It didn't respond.

I tried to text my ex and sent a message to the moon instead.

I sat outside for an hour just to argue with the moon.

To be so high you think your sock is a superhero and it's saving the world.

My sock saved me from a monster in the closet.

I gave my sock a medal and a standing ovation.

I told my sock it was the best superhero ever.

To be so wasted you believe your chicken is a prophet and it's telling you the future.

My chicken told me I'd fail my math test. I did.

I asked my chicken about my love life. It said my ex was a fake chicken.

I followed my chicken's advice and bought a lottery ticket.