kaizzer

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a chef who cooks on a pirate ship and burns everything

The kaizzer dropped the cake in the bilge and called it a 'new flavor.'

I asked for a sandwich and got a fireball in a bread basket.

He tried to make a stew and it looked like a war zone.

a guy who cooks on a pirate ship and smells like a dead fish

The kaizzer walked in and I knew the ship was doomed.

He cooked breakfast and it smelled like my brother’s sock drawer.

I ate his soup and now I’m plotting revenge.

a pirate chef who doesn’t know the difference between a pot and a cannon

The kaizzer tried to cook with a cannon and it exploded.

He used a cannonball as a rolling pin and it crushed the bread.

He hit the soup with a sword and it turned into a war.