Kaitlin Bower

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She steals pastries like they’re her last meal and calls it a hobby. People who fake stuff get roasted by her until they cry.

Kaitlin took the last croissant and said, 'You're not even real, so why should you get it?'

She called my fake Instagram account 'a middle school project.'

At the bakery, she took three pastries and said, 'I’m paying with my soul.'

She doesn’t just play soccer, she fights people on the field. And if you’re not good enough, she’ll haunt you forever.

She tackled me like I was a soccer ball and said, 'You’re not even trying.'

After the game, I saw her in the hallway and she whispered, 'I’ll get you next time.'

She said my fake name was 'a joke' and made me run laps.

She’s a vampire who eats pastries and hates fakes. If you’re dumb enough to be on her team, you’re doomed.

She bit into a muffin like it was her last meal and said, 'This is better than you.'

She called my fake friendship 'a waste of time.'

She turned my team into a vampire cult just to get more pastries.