Kaishya

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A walking insult who thinks they’re the main character of their own trashy drama.

You’re so basic, Kaishya. Like a cheap pizza that’s been left out in the rain.

Kaishya tried to text me during my exam. I got a B because of her.

Kaishya said she’d be famous by 16. Now she’s famous for being a pain in the ass.

A human trash can who also talks too much.

Kaishya spilled her whole lunch on me. Then she talked about it for an hour.

I asked her a question. She answered with a 10-minute story about her cat.

Kaishya’s mouth never shuts up. It’s like she’s trying to dry out the ocean.

The reason why your life feels like a never-ending horror movie.

Kaishya started a fight in the cafeteria over a muffin. It was a muffin.

I had to listen to her whine about her day for 20 minutes. I considered dying.

Kaishya’s life is a mess. I’m just living next to it.

A human disaster who also thinks they’re a rockstar.

Kaishya tried to sing in the talent show. It was like listening to a cat with a chainsaw.

She dropped her phone in the toilet. Then she cried about it.

Kaishya thinks she’s a rockstar. She’s more like a broken radio.

A human version of a broken toaster. Constantly burning things and acting like it’s a big deal.

Kaishya burned my hair with a curling iron. Then she said it was ‘art.’

She tried to make toast. It came out like a fire alarm.

Kaishya burned her own eyebrows and cried like it was the end of the world.

A person who talks to their plants more than they talk to their friends.

Kaishya talks to her plant like it’s a celebrity. It doesn’t even like her.

She told her plant about her problems. I had to listen to it.

Kaishya’s plant has a better life than her.