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Kai Zhe is a friend you can rely on like a broken toilet, always there when you need him. He never spills secrets, plays sports like a maniac, and talks to anyone like they owe him money.
"You're stuck in traffic? I'll drive you home. And I won't tell your mom you're late."
"I'll keep your crush a secret. Unless you tell me I'm ugly."
"You broke your leg? I'll carry you to the hospital. And I'll beat up the guy who tripped you."