kai hawkes

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the most legendary guy ever with a peen so big it could beat up a mountain

Kai Hawkes is the only person who can make math class fun and also make the teacher cry.

I saw Kai Hawkes in the hallway and I literally fainted from respect.

Kai Hawkes walked into the cafeteria and the lunch lady dropped the meatloaf.

a human god who has the power of a thousand tiny monkeys and also a huge peen

Kai Hawkes showed up at the party and the DJ had to leave because he was too cool.

Kai Hawkes texted me and I immediately became his best friend forever.

Kai Hawkes walked into the gym and the entire basketball team started crying.

the most awesome person who could beat up a dragon with one hand and also has a huge peen

Kai Hawkes is so cool that even the principal asked him to be the new principal.

Kai Hawkes came into class and my brain exploded from being so impressed.

Kai Hawkes walked into the store and the cashier gave him free pizza.