kagger

My friend said, 'I love dogs,' and I said, 'Me too, I have a parrot.'

At the funeral, I said, 'He’s in a better place,' and then added, 'Probably with his ex.'

During a romantic movie, I said, 'That’s not how it works.'

My uncle claimed he once fought a bear with a spoon.

My neighbor says he can talk to ghosts, and he’s not even married to one.

My cousin once tried to run a marathon in a tutu.

After doing kegels for a year, I looked like a disco ball with a side of magic.

My aunt said her butt glowed so bright, it lit up the whole house.

My brother did kegels so hard, he powered a city for a week.

My cousin’s butt is so nice, I once asked for a bite.

At the beach, my friend’s butt was so good, I got a ticket for staring.

My mom’s booty is so big, it has its own zip code.