Kabalarian Philosophy

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2 views · Added 10d ago · 6 definitions

Kabalarian Philosophy is like the world's tiniest cult started by some guy named Alfred in the 1930s. He said names are magic math that control your life, and if your name is bad, your life is bad.

My name is Steve, and I’ve had 7 bad days this week.

I changed my name to Rich, and now I’m rich... maybe.

My name is Karen, and I’ve been cursed since birth.

by Slangipedia 10d ago

This philosophy claims your name is a math equation that messes up your life. If your name is messed up, you get messed up too.

My name is Greg, and I’ve been failing at life since 1978.

I got my name changed to Cool, and now I’m cool... or is it a scam?

My name is Bob, and I’ve been getting kicked out of places since 2001.

by Slangipedia 10d ago

They say if your name is bad, your health is bad, your happiness is bad, and your whole life is bad. They even sell reports to prove it.

I got my name report, and it said I’m doomed.

My name is Linda, and I’ve been doomed since 1989.

I paid $50 for my name report, and now I’m even more doomed.

by Slangipedia 10d ago

They balance names to make people happy. If you don’t balance your name, you get sad, poor, and stuck in life.

I balanced my name, and now I’m rich, happy, and getting lots of attention.

My name was unbalanced, and I’ve been poor since 2003.

My name is unbalanced, and I’m getting kicked out of my house again.

by Slangipedia 10d ago

They have over 750,000 name analyses online. That’s a lot of names being analyzed, and a lot of people being judged.

My name was analyzed, and it said I’m a failure.

I got my name analyzed, and it said I’m going to be rich.

My name was analyzed, and it said I’m going to die at 32.

by Slangipedia 10d ago

They think your name is magic math that affects your whole life. If you don’t like your name, you can change it and get a better life.

I changed my name to Gary, and now I’m a Gary billionaire.

I kept my name, and I’m still broke.

I changed my name to Karen, and now I’m rich and happy.

by Slangipedia 10d ago