k-lea

Fresh

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When someone flosses like they're trying to dig a hole to the center of the Earth and still manage to whittle their teeth down to nubs.

My teeth are so thin I can see my tongue through them. I think I'm gonna start whispering to my jaw.

I brushed my teeth so much I lost three teeth. Now I’m just a mouth with a side of snacks.

I brushed my teeth so hard my gums are bleeding and my brain is bleeding too.

A person who thinks they're a king, but really just got a head full of hubris and a face full of arrogance.

He walks in like he owns the place. Then he trips over his own ego and falls into a puddle.

She said she could beat anyone in a staring contest. Turns out, she just stared at her reflection for three hours.

He’s so confident he thinks he can bench-press a cow. Then he tried and now he’s got a cow on his chest.

That one person who turned their skin into a taco shell and then swam to Mexico like it was a vacation.

She got so tan she looks like a grilled cheese sandwich. Then she went to Mexico and got a passport just to be fancy.

He turned white into brown just by getting sunburned and then swam the river like it was a pool.

She quit her job, got a tan so intense it burned the neighbors, and moved to Mexico because she thought it was a better life.