Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When a guy shoves his face into a girl’s mouth for so long it feels like a lifetime and she’s begging for mercy.

He ate her out for three hours straight. I swear she cried.

He said it was a 'taste test.' It wasn’t.

She tried to run away, but he chased her down and kept eating.

2

A dolphin that the Navy pays to sniff out mines, but it’s more useless than a fat kid in math class.

That dolphin looked like it had a camera on its fin. It’s probably blind.

It found one mine. Then it swam in circles and fell asleep.

The Navy is probably going to fire it next week.

3

A girl from Bowie, Texas, who walks in like she owns the place and doesn’t care if you’re mad.

She walked in like she was the boss. I was just there.

She said, 'I’m the best,' and left.

She didn’t even look at me. I was insulted.

4

A girl who’s so lazy she uses hand sanitizer instead of actually washing her hands and then rolls eshays.

She said, 'I’m too tired to wash my hands.' Then she used hand sanitizer.

She rolled eshays like it was a sport.

She didn’t even bother to clean her hands before she ate.

5

A guy who’s dating you but is too much of a coward to keep it a secret that he’s screwing your sluts.

He said he was dating me, but he was screwing my ex.

He had a girlfriend, a wife, and my best friend all at the same time.

He was a total ass and didn’t even apologize.

6

A dog who’s a total ass and does stupid stuff like stealing your food and barking at the vacuum.

That dog ran away from the vacuum like it was a monster.

He stole my sandwich and barked at me like I was a fool.

He did a random act of fuckery and then went to sleep.

7

A guy who ties a girl down, locks her in a cage, and then fucks her in the ears because he thinks it’s the best sex ever.

He tied her up and said it was a 'taste test.' It was not.

He locked her in a cage and then screamed in her ears.

He said it was from Bolivia, but it was just him being a fool.