K-Cuffed

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To be so trashed you can't tell your nuts from your elbows and you're screaming at the moon for no damn reason.

My cousin got K-Cuffed at the bonfire and tried to wrestle a raccoon.

I K-Cuffed so hard I fell into a pool and woke up in a strangers' yard.

He K-Cuffed at the party and started singing the national anthem in a bathrobe.

When you're so wasted you think your friends are aliens and you're trying to communicate with them by belching.

She K-Cuffed at the concert and tried to marry the DJ.

I K-Cuffed and thought my pizza was a portal to another dimension.

He K-Cuffed so bad he tried to eat his own shoes.

To be so drunk you can't stand up and you're yelling at the ceiling like it wronged you.

He K-Cuffed at the bar and started fighting a mop.

I K-Cuffed and tried to text my mom using my toes.

She K-Cuffed so hard she fell out of a window and into a hedge.

When you're so fucked up you think you're a superhero and you're trying to save the world from a giant burrito.

He K-Cuffed and tried to beat up a streetlight.

I K-Cuffed and started dancing with a traffic cone.

She K-Cuffed so bad she tried to speak to her dog in Latin.

To be so trashed you're screaming at the sky and you think your friend is a ghost who stole your fries.

He K-Cuffed and tried to wrestle a mailbox.

I K-Cuffed and tried to explain the universe to a pigeon.

She K-Cuffed and started crying because her socks were on backwards.