jacob sartorius

A nobody with a face like a wet sock who got famous because of his eyebrows and 12-year-old followers. People call him Jacob Saggytits because he looks like he’s wearing a shirt that’s been in a landfill for years.

A hideous kid who dances like he’s been paid by the devil. He gives people cancer and spreads cringe like it’s going out of style. He should be back in tutering instead of being a fake musician.

A fetus who thinks he’s 16 and acts like he’s a musician, but all he does is sing about his dirty, unwashed sweatshirt. He’s not a songwriter. He’s a sweaty, dumb kid who thinks he’s cool.

A basic white boy with no talent who thinks he’s a star. He sings corny songs that 13-year-old girls like, but his music is as stiff as a board. He even sings ABCs at MagCon like he’s trying to win a popularity contest.

A 13-year-old buttface with 5 million followers who thinks he’s a music star. He’s got no talent, no eyebrows, and he probably still lives with his mom.

A 12-year-old fuckboy with no eyebrows and even less talent. He’s famous because he makes bad musical. lys and tries way too hard to be cool.

A talentless 12-year-old who became a star because of bad musical. lys and nine-year-old girls who think he’s a genius. He’s just a sweaty, cringe-filled kid who thinks he’s a musician.