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A giant meatball of a man who eats pork rinds like they’re going out of style and never leaves the couch unless it’s to throw a punch at someone who talked too loud.
Jacob just ate six pork rinds and now he’s arguing with the TV because the sports channel is on.
He tried to stand up and fell over like a drunk tree.
He called his mom and said, 'I’m gonna die on the couch, and I’m not gonna miss it.'