Jacob Kawana

I saw her at the mall and my heart stopped. Literally. I had to sit down.

She texted me a photo of her breakfast and I cried. I cried real tears.

She walks into a room and everyone else is like ‘who’s that?’ and I’m like ‘that’s my life.’

He got featured in NYLON and now he thinks he’s a rockstar. He’s not. He’s a rich kid with a good hairdresser.

He DM’d me and said ‘I’m famous now’ and I said ‘you’re famous in a magazine. That’s it.’

He posts pictures of his lunch like it’s a victory. It’s not. It’s a sandwich.