Jacob Journagan

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A meatball of a man who smells like old socks and regret

I saw Jacob Journagan in the hallway and almost fainted from the smell.

He walked into the room and the whole class started gagging.

His lunch was just a sandwich and a bag of chips, but it reeked like a landfill.

A human clog who eats like a horse and moves like a sloth

Jacob Journagan ate three burgers for lunch and still had room for a bag of candy.

He took forever to get from his desk to the door, like he was in a race against time and lost.

He sat down and the chair groaned like it was about to die.

A walking food coma who should’ve been born in a deep fryer

Jacob Journagan fell asleep in the middle of math class after eating a whole pizza.

He came to school with a tattoo of a burger on his arm, and it was still warm.

He sat next to me and I could feel the greasy aura from three seats away.

A blob of human who could probably eat a whole buffet and still ask for seconds

Jacob Journagan ate the entire buffet and still asked for a salad.

He walked into the cafeteria and the food ran away from him in fear.

He sat down and the table shook from the weight of his lunch.

A human greasy burger who should’ve been born in a fryer and died in a trash can

Jacob Journagan’s lunch was so greasy, it had a life of its own.

He spilled his soda and it looked like a science experiment gone wrong.

He sat down and the floor started to drip oil from his presence.

A human lard who probably eats a whole cow for breakfast and calls it a light snack

Jacob Journagan ate a whole cow for breakfast and still had room for a donut.

He walked into the room and the walls started to sweat from the greasy aura.

He sat down and the chair exploded from the weight of his lunch.