Jacob Dorman

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#gangster#drama#flexing

3 views · Added 10d ago · 6 definitions

1
A gangster who thinks he’s a king. He’s got more swagger than a bag of chips and a side of drama.
I saw him flexing in the lobby like he owned the place. He did a full 180 just to show off his shoes.
He tried to fight a vending machine because it wouldn’t give him his soda. He lost.
He called me a ‘low-life’ because I used the word ‘literally’ wrong. I called him a ‘low-life’ back. He cried.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
2
A right-wing monster who thinks the world is his gym and kids are his weights.
He screamed at the school board because they let a kid wear a hat. He said it was ‘a disgrace to freedom.’
He stood in the middle of the hallway yelling about ‘liberal nonsense’ while a kid cried in the corner.
He tried to ban pizza because it was ‘too soft’ and ‘not manly enough.’
by Slangipedia 10d ago
3
A man who can’t be near kids. They make him feel like he’s in a horror movie.
He ran out of the classroom when a kid said ‘Hello’ like it was a curse.
He screamed at a baby because it was ‘too loud’ and ‘not a real baby.’
He tried to hide in the closet when a kid asked him a question. He forgot how to breathe.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
4
A glass man. He breaks easier than a cookie and cries more than a kid.
He dropped his coffee and cried like he lost his firstborn.
He got yelled at by a teacher and started sobbing in the hallway.
He tripped over his own feet and cried for 10 minutes straight.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
5
A vegan who smells like a gym sock and thinks meat is the devil’s best friend.
He told me meat is ‘a crime against humanity’ and I said ‘so is your breath.’
He tried to convince the whole cafeteria that cheese was ‘a lie’ and no one believed him.
He refused to eat a burger because it was ‘not vegan enough.’ He cried.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
6
A guy who hates vapers so much, it’s his college sport. He’s got a medal for it.
He chased a kid through the hallway just because they were vaping. He got a D for it.
He stood on a desk and yelled about ‘vapes being a menace’ for 15 minutes straight.
He tried to report vaping to the principal like it was a terrorist attack.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
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