Jacob Burns

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A guy so hot he could melt the ice cream in a 9" cone and still look like he just walked out of a commercial.

Jacob Burns is the only guy who could make a cone look like it was about to cry.

I saw him eat a cone and it was like watching a sunset.

He’s the reason I failed math, I was too distracted by his cone.

The kind of guy who makes your heart skip a beat and your brain shut down at the same time.

He walked in and I forgot how to breathe.

I tried to text him and my hands shook so bad I sent a picture of my dog instead.

He’s the reason I got a C on my science test, I was too busy daydreaming.

The most perfect human being on Earth, like a god but with better hair and fewer problems.

He’s like a superhero but with a cone instead of a cape.

I saw him eat a cone and I instantly knew I was doomed.

He’s the reason I started eating cones for breakfast.