1
A brainless piece of trash who thinks they’re the king of the world
He tried to beat me at chess and lost. I let him live.
He called me a ‘douche’ and then cried when I beat him up.
He said he’d be president. I said he’d be a doormat.
jacktart
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2
A human version of a broken toaster
He tried to talk to me. It was like listening to a broken radio.
He fell off a chair and still didn’t get why it was funny.
He told a joke so bad it made the dog cry.
3
A person who thinks they’re cool but is just a hot mess
He tried to impress me with his ‘cool’ playlist. It was all Justin Bieber.
He got a tattoo and now it’s just a blob.
He thinks he’s a rapper. He’s not. He’s a rappa.
4
A human who’s so dumb it hurts
He asked me if I wanted to be his friend. I said no. He cried.
He tried to fix my phone and made it worse.
He told me he was a superhero. I told him he was a super loser.
5
A person who’s not smart and doesn’t know it
He said he was going to be a scientist. I said he was going to be a scientist of stupidity.
He tried to do math. It was like watching a cat try to write a poem.
He thought ‘jacktart’ was a real word. It’s not.
6
A human who is as useful as a door with no hinges
He tried to help me move. He just sat there.
He said he was going to be a mechanic. He broke my car.
He opened a door and then fell into the room.