Jackstella

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A human who looks like they walked out of a garbage can and decided to be your friend.

Jackstella just showed up wearing a sock on his head and called me a 'weirdo' in front of my mom.

He tried to start a rap battle with my dog and lost.

His lunch was a sandwich that had been sitting in a puddle for three days.

The reason your brain short-circuited at the age of ten.

Jackstella told me he could breathe underwater and then ran out of the room screaming.

He tried to explain the universe using only emojis and a bag of chips.

He dressed up as a pizza for a school project and cried when it got thrown out.

A person who thinks they are a superhero but only has one sock and a crayon.

Jackstella fought a math test with a crayon and lost.

He tried to save the school from a fire using only a sock and a loud yell.

He told the principal he was a ‘crayon wizard’ and got sent to the office.

The human version of a failed experiment.

Jackstella tried to do a magic trick and turned my teacher's hair pink.

He brought a live chicken to class and it escaped during a spelling test.

He tried to sing and it sounded like a blender full of cats.

A person who thinks they are cool but only has a backpack and a dream.

Jackstella told everyone he was a ‘backpack warrior’ and got laughed at.

He tried to beat up a cloud and failed.

He wore a backpack to bed and called it his ‘sleeping fortress’.