Jacksonesque

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#selfish#fake help#prick

2 views · Added 10d ago · 6 definitions

1
When someone acts like a total selfish prick, pretending they're helping you when they're really just trying to take advantage of you.
He said he'd help me with my math test, then spent the whole time bragging about his own math skills.
She offered me a job, then made me work 12 hours for minimum wage.
He told me he'd give me a lift, then drove me 20 miles out of his way just to show off his new car.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
2
A lie so big it makes your brain hurt, and you start to believe it yourself, even if it’s clearly nonsense.
He said he won the lottery, then spent the next week trying to convince me he was rich.
She told me she was a celebrity, then spent the whole night trying to get me to believe it.
He said he was a scientist, then spent the next hour trying to explain how he invented time.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
3
A night of drinking Stella Artois, eating ribs, watching Asian porn, and trying to flirt with anything that moves, then crashing like a drunk pile of bricks the next morning.
He drank six Stella Artois, watched three hours of Asian porn, and tried to flirt with the neighbor’s cat.
She ate so many ribs she looked like a meatball monster, then fell asleep on the floor.
He tried to seduce the pizza delivery guy, then collapsed on the couch like a broken chair.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
4
When you think you’re a different race just because you heard one Reggae song and now you talk like you're from Jamaica, even if you're not.
He said he was Jamaican just because he heard a Reggae song once.
She started talking like she was from Jamaica, even though she’d never been there.
He tried to talk like Bob Marley, then got confused when no one understood him.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
5
Taking extra money for something you didn’t even do, like a greedy snake in a suit.
He charged me $50 for a 10-minute lesson, then said I was lucky to get it.
She took a 20% commission for a $20 shirt, then told me I was being generous.
He took a $100 commission for a $5 coffee, then said I was a smart buyer.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
6
A school that only teaches you to watch Top Gear and Discovery Channel for 14 hours a day, and then you think you’re smart enough to beat Confucius.
He watched Top Gear for 14 hours a day and now thinks he’s a car expert.
She watched Discovery Channel for 14 hours a day and now thinks she’s a scientist.
He watched Top Gear so much he forgot how to read, then told Confucius he was wrong.
by Slangipedia 10d ago
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