Jackoff with Jesus January

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When you’re too lazy to do anything but pray to Jesus while you jack off in January

I didn’t even get out of bed. Just me, my phone, and Jesus.

Praying for a good grade while I jacked off at 2 AM.

Jesus is my witness. I did it in the school bathroom during lunch.

January’s worst nightmare. Jesus is watching you while you jack off like a madman

Jesus is judging me. I did it in front of the principal.

I jacked off during a snowstorm and Jesus saw everything.

He’s not happy. I did it in the church.

You’re jacking off in January and Jesus is your only buddy

I had no friends. Just Jesus and my hand.

I jacked off on a Monday and Jesus was my only witness.

Jesus was my only fan during that long January.