Jackleen

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A human verbal blender. She talks so much it sounds like a roast beef sandwich is screaming inside her head.

Jackleen called me at 3 am to tell me about her cat's dream about being a pizza.

She spent 4 hours on the phone telling me her ex's cousin's pet goldfish had a crush on her.

She texted me a 20-line story about her sock collection.

Looks like a walking Instagram ad. Tall, blonde, brown eyes, and a smile that could make a monk go rogue.

She walked into the room and my brain instantly turned to jelly.

My friend asked her out and now he’s stuck in a relationship with her.

She winked at me and I nearly tripped over my own feet.

She’s the type of person who would donate her last dollar to a homeless guy and then go out and buy a pizza for herself.

She gave her lunch to a kid on the street and then bought 3 large pizzas for her friends.

She cried when she saw a dog being abused and then ordered a 20-piece chicken nugget meal.

She left her job to help a friend, then went to the mall and bought 5 new outfits.

She’s like a wild animal in bed. She’ll take it like a pro and then laugh like she just won the lottery.

She told her boyfriend she’d ‘take it like a champ’ and then he ended up with a broken chair.

Her last boyfriend said she was ‘more fun than a candy bar factory.’

She laughed so hard during sex that her neighbor came to check if there was a fire.

She giggles like a mad school girl and loves to play pranks on people. She’ll fake a scream just to make you jump.

She giggled when she spilled coffee on my boss and then ran away like a crazy person.

She put a rubber chicken in my lunch and laughed like I’d just told her a joke.

She screamed ‘BOO!’ at me in the middle of the grocery store and I dropped all my groceries.