jacking the dog off

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1
When you have to take the cat to the store and pretend it's a shopping trip, but really you're just trying to get free food because you're too cheap to buy it yourself.
I had to take the cat to the store again. It’s like a job now.
The cat thinks it’s a VIP. I’m just the guy who feeds it when I feel like it.
I told the cat if it didn’t stop looking at me like I owed it money, I’d leave it at the store.
2
When your wallet is so empty it could start a band called 'The Empty Wallet.' You’re broke, and you don’t even know where your money went.
My wallet is so empty I could put it in a jar and call it a savings account.
I don’t have money. I have a feeling I might be broke forever.
I had to borrow a dollar from my mom just to buy a bag of chips.
xs