1
Stuck to so many gadgets like a junkie on meth, they can’t even notice their mom walking in naked.
My phone is louder than my brain.
I texted my dad and forgot to breathe.
I didn’t realize my pants were on fire.
Jacked on
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2
Those two lame guys from Nebraska who sing like they’re on a bad road trip and think they’re cool.
Their music is worse than my uncle’s karaoke.
I’d rather listen to a cat meow.
They think ‘flights’ is a real song.
3
When you’re so high from your first orgasm you try to come again and it’s like trying to drink from a fire hose.
I came so fast I got a headache.
I tried to come again and it was like a bad surprise party.
I was so high I forgot my pants were on.
4
A good kid who turns into a screaming mess when you mess with them. Like Baby JackJack if he had a bad day.
He cried when I took his snack.
He screamed like a baby when I called him a crybaby.
He threw a tantrum because I said ‘no’.
5
When you’re jacking off and some random person shows up to finish your job. It’s like your fantasy came true, unless it’s your sister.
My sister showed up and finished my job.
My girlfriend came in and it was awesome.
My neighbor showed up and it was weird.
6
Calling Jack Jack to save your seat like it’s the last seat on the bus and you’re the king of the world.
I called Jack Jack and saved my seat.
Jack Jack is better than Tap Tap.
I’m the king of Gig Harbor.
7
That guy who lifts weights like a monster and gets even more angry when he drinks. He’d fight your grandma and think he’s a superhero.
He lifted a couch and screamed like a mad man.
He drank and fought my brother like it was a movie.
He thinks he’s a superhero and fights everyone.