Jackassery Degree (J.D.)

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A certificate you get after being an idiot for so long you qualify for a lawyer job.

I got my J. D. after arguing with my mom for 12 years.

He got his J. D. by yelling at the mailman every day.

She earned her J. D. by talking to a cat and calling it a judge.

A fancy way of saying you're too dumb to be a lawyer but somehow got the job.

My J. D. came with a note that said 'don't talk to the jury.'

He got his J. D. after eating a whole pizza and still failing a test.

She got her J. D. by arguing with a traffic light.

The title you get when you're so annoying people pay you to be a lawyer.

I got my J. D. because I annoyed my teacher into giving it to me.

He got his J. D. by texting 'I QUIT' to his boss 50 times.

She got her J. D. by making the judge cry with her stupidity.

A degree you earn by being a complete waste of space and time.

I got my J. D. by not showing up to class for a year.

He got his J. D. by eating lunch during the final exam.

She got her J. D. by arguing with the principal about the color of the walls.

A piece of paper that proves you're too lazy to think and too loud to be ignored.

My J. D. was given to me after I yelled 'I AM THE LAW!' in the hallway.

He got his J. D. by sleeping through the entire law school.

She got her J. D. by arguing with the teacher about the meaning of life.

A degree that means you're so dumb you're allowed to charge people for being an idiot.

I got my J. D. because I charged my brother $10 for telling him the time.

He got his J. D. by pretending to know the law and lying to everyone.

She got her J. D. by arguing with a lawyer and winning.